Courageous Conversations
Lent 1 – Narrative Lectionary 1
March 10, 2019
Grace, Mankato, MN
Matthew 18.15-35
She was a pastor in a small rural congregation. It was her first call out of seminary but by no means her first real life experience. She’d been around the block a time or three and she was pretty savvy. Still, a situation arose that had her baffled. It came to her attention that a member of her congregation was having an affair and a quite open one at that. Even worse: this particular member taught Sunday School. The pastor thought the life style of the member conflicted with the role of teaching, but didn’t know how to approach it.
So she brought the issue to the council, laid out the situation and asked them what they should do about it. There was dead silence until, one by one, each person on the council said it wasn’t their place to judge the member. I don’t know what happened next, except the member eventually resigned from teaching Sunday School so the immediate situation resolved itself. However, I understand that there was other collateral damage from the affair the pastor had to deal with. But I also understand that the pastor was left with a feeling that both she and the council didn’t handle it right.
Today begins a series of five parables, one for each Sunday in Lent, except for Palm Sunday. Most of Jesus’ parables are “Kingdom Parables,” designed to give us a glimpse of what the kingdom of heaven is like. So, it’s important to remember that parables are not puzzles to solve but rather mysteries to enter. In other words, Jesus’ parables are designed to open us up more than we are to open them up. It’s also important to remember that kingdom parables are not another kind of parables, the “go and do likewise” parables. That’s crucial for today’s parable about the unforgiving servant. The parable has more to do with God’s forgiveness than it does ours. “Let it go” may work in the Disney film “Frozen,” but it doesn’t work as well with forgiveness. That we are to forgive others—including ourselves—is generally self-evident. How to forgive is not as obvious.
Even so, I want to focus on the first part of the text, the effects of disruptions in the life of the community. Interestingly, Matthew 18.15-20 where Jesus talks about sins between community members is the only scripture text cited in the ELCA’s constitution. And there it deals with church discipline. In other words, it spells out how to deal with offensive members. While the process laid out here is helpful, I want to argue against a too-rigid adoption of the process. Instead, I want to argue for the need for us to have courageous conversations when stuff happens and make no mistake, stuff will happen.
You see, being in community takes hard work. Being in community requires appropriate vulnerability and it is inherently risky. Yet, it’s important to ask what kind of community we want. Do we want to make meaningful connections? Do we want to be able to ask the big questions in life? Do we want to have support and love? This kind of community involves being honest, vulnerable, and the giving of ourselves. And when our relationships get disrupted, this kind of community involves courageous conversations to bring about healing. Staying quiet when you need to speak up or just walking away when you’re hurt doesn’t help; it only hurts further.
Many years later, the pastor in the opening story admits she missed an opportunity. Fortunately, since that time she has learned to have courageous conversations. She has been able to do so in large part because others have had them with her, but also as importantly because she knows how critical they are for community. Being a community is wonderful, but like any worthwhile endeavor it takes hard work. The church council has been toying with a new vision statement for Grace. It says that we will be “a community of courage, compassion, and connection centered in Christ.” What do you think? Can we be a community that can have courageous conversations? Amen.
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